Why we are adopting

We are both in our early 30's and have been happily married for almost 8 years.
About a year after we married, we began discussing when we wanted to start a family. Of course at that time, I though all I would have to do was end my long relationship with birthcontrol and I would automatically, blissfully become pregnant. After a year of trying to conceive, I underwent a procedure called a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG)where the doctor concluded that I had a blocked left fallopian tube (the right fallopian tube was damaged years ago due to excessive scar tissue)and he stated I would have an "outside chance of ever conceiving a child"....more like less than a 10% chance and if I did, it could be extremely difficult and painful for me due to all of the abdominal scar tissue from past surgeries. I took this information and ran with it. I ran all the way to other wonderful and extremely helpful Gynecologist,fertility doctors, specialist, Naturopathic doctors, an acupuncturist, and a dietitian....anyone who would say to me "of course there is a chance you will conceive". And they were right.

On my 31st birthday I underwent my first and only attempt at In Vitro Fertilization (IVF). However, my hormone levels were too low and I miscarried a few weeks later. Pete and I had made the decision before we began the IVF process that we would make two attempts. However, after that first experience I thought long and hard about my being pregnant and how important that aspect of it was for me. I took my doctors advice and decided not to undergo another round of IVF. I had to give up the idea of ever watching my belly grow, or feel the child move inside of me, go through labor pains, breastfeed...all of those wonderful things that come with pregnancy and birth. All I really wanted was to be a parent, I knew that I wanted to be a parent with Pete and I knew that it didn't matter how I became a parent.

My best friend who is a mother of two boys told me that parenting is so much more than giving birth....it is about being there for that child for the rest of its life. It's about diaper blow-outs and wiping snotty noses, it's about laughing at how silly and brilliant your child is, it's about helping him with his homework, it's about watching her roll her mascara covered eyes at you and saying things like "whatever mom...you don't understand." It's about the fact that a child is actually an adult for longer than they are a child. It's a lifetime commitment, not just a 9 month commitment or 18 year commitment.
So after her genius words, many months and many emotional meltdowns along with love and support from family and friends....I said goodbye to my unborn children and began to pray for children that need me as much as I need them.

We began researching adoption before we underwent IVF so it is something we have had plenty of time to research, discuss and focus on. I have a good friend who is adopted, we have friends who have adopted and we have a family member who is adopted, so it wasn't a difficult decision for us to make. Pete and I love each other very much and know we want to be parents....no matter how we become parents.

Pete and I have done so much together in the past 12 years and really enjoy and appreciate our life, but we both agree that having a family has and always will be our main focus. We really want to be parents and we look forward to that day.